Before you can love another, you must first find love with yourself. But what about all of those parts you feel are unlovable? The selfish, the impatient, the defensive, the lazy, the perfectionist, the martyr, the victim? Can you only love yourself once you have made those parts of you better? Once you are a better person, friend, spouse, daughter? The heart chakra says no.
The Heart Chakra: Accepting Your Unlovable Parts
You can and need to start loving and accepting ALL of you now, despite your own opinions of yourself. All of your parts have been important in getting you here to this exact moment when you are now aware that you have a choice on this journey.
The work of the heart chakra is to bring into relationship all of those different parts of you. To appreciate the role that they have played in your life and how they have been a part of you.
In connection with the solar plexus chakra just below the heart chakra, you find your self-will. You get to choose your path forward and sometimes those parts that served you in the past are no longer helpful on your journey forward. Drawing on the energy of the solar plexus chakra, you can take loving action to compassionately let go of the parts of you that are no longer serving you.
To start the process, make a big long list of the most detailed aspects of you: comedian, caretaker, fearful parent, victim, abused child, generous heart, lover, friend, sister, wife, teacher, overachiever, perfectionist, and on and on. Dig deep to find the things you adore about yourself as well as the things you despise. The parts of you that you have over-identified with because they were pleasing to others and the parts that you rejected because no one liked you when you played that role.
Once you have your list, identify the handful of parts that are no longer serving your highest good. They may have played an important role for you as you were growing up and they may be very comfortable now but you know that they are holding you back.
The next step is to write a thank you letter to your parts that you are ready to release. Thank those parts for how they served you in your life up to this time. Did they protect you? Did they help you survive to be here today? Thank them for what they have provided for you in your life. They served a purpose in the past but now, as you are moving towards a higher version of yourself, you are ready to release them. They are holding you back in the past and you are ready to release that anchor.
In the letter, say goodbye to the parts that you are ready to release. Thank them and send them on their way.
The heart chakra is unconditional love, acceptance and approval for both yourself and for others. When it gets out of balance, you can either look outward for love and approval or you can close yourself off and become super critical and judgmental towards yourself and others.
When we can find acceptance and unconditional love for ourselves and all of our parts, we no longer need to look outward for love and approval. We also can accept all of the parts of others and know that they are serving them in some capacity as a result of their life experiences.
As you continue to work with bringing balance to the heart chakra, you may want to add some of these simple practices:
Add more green to your life
Pranayama or Breathing exercises
Use heart chakra balancing gemstones, such as Green Aventurine.
Self-love practices: Gazing sweetly at yourself in a mirror or at a picture of yourself as a child and telling yourself “I love you” over and over again. Super simple and super powerful.
Affirmations: I love and accept myself completely. I am loved. It is safe for me to open my heart.
Eat more leafy green vegetables
Your heart chakra is the balancing point between your lower more individual chakras and your upper more universal chakras. When you are able to love and accept both yourself and others, you have found the balancing point between the two worlds.